Illegal Possession of Pudding?

I have to credit our little neighborhood school. They do a good job of instructing our elementary kids to "say NO!" to drugs. So much so, that my daughter and her girlfriend tried boldly to tell my father he should not be going out to have a cigarette after having his dinner at Texas Roadhouse a while back. After enacting that scene for something like 15 years, I've deemed it fruitless. Still, I was really impressed at their caring and their sense of empowerment. That might be one of the strongest assets towards saying no to drugs, after all, as a child. Of course, knowing what substances are actually "drugs" helps too.

We ended up discussing drugs at dinner the other night. Abi told me a lie in an effort to side with a friend and keep from fighting with him. I told her that it wasn't okay to follow friends just to avoid conflict...

"What if he asked you to do drugs? Are you going to say 'yes,' just to avoid conflict? That's not okay!"

She seemed to see point, and immediately kicked into a school scripted "I know what to do!" mode. "No! I would say no! I know what the drugs are, Mommy. They taught us in school. Marijuana, alcohol, and uh... ta.... tapioca."

"Tapioca? Really?" I asked. "They told you tapioca is a drug?"

"Um. Yeah. It's that stuff that is in the cigarettes that Papa smokes."

Lightbulb.

"Tobacco, honey. It's called tobacco."

Sigh. Baby steps. 

Too much baking, not enough engineering?

Returning home from gymnastics yesterday:

Me: "Come on in, Brae. Let's wash your hands and have some lunch."

Boy: "But, Mommy, I don't want to wash my hands!"

Me: "You have to, honey."

Boy: "Why?"

Me: "Because we just came from the gym, and your hands have germs on them."

Boy (Looking at hands, moving them closer and closer until they are touching his eyes): "No they don't. I don't see any."

Me: "Babe, germs are microscopic. That means they are so small that you can not see them with your eyes. You have to have a special tool called a microscope to see them."

Boy: "Can we make one? I will get some paper, and...."

Me:  "No. Brae, we can't make one."

Boy (Pouting): "Why not?"

Me: "I do not have the things we would need in order to build a microscope, honey."

Boy: "You don't have the ingredients to make a microscope?"


Me: "No, dear. I don't have the ingredients."

Gag me with a fashion trend

Overheard in the Chick-Fil-A playroom:
Glamour Mommy to daughter: "Oh, look at these cute boots, honey! Why can't you wear cute boots like this?"

Oh, how I wanted to answer for the young girl:

"Because, Mommy, I don't want to be bound at the feet and strung up at the disco." 



Colorado Commandment #1: Thou shalt not wear cold weather gear encrusted with sequins if thou art not Michael Jackson.