Thursday, March 12, 2009

"with a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for Pool"

i've decided to start training for a sprint distance triathlon. yes, i know it's a bit ambitious, particularly for a mom of very little people who has never really been very athletic, but i'm on it! i ran some before having braeden, and helped inspire running in my sister. she, has now inspired triathlon-ing in me. well, now don't get your hopes too high, it's not like i am registered for a race or even have one picked out, but i'm taking the first steps, and well, that's something.

the thing is-- i can't swim. i mean, i'm fine at not drowning. i have the survival piece covered, but the act of propelling oneself from here to there in some organized fashion? well, i'm not much more successful than a bloated whale corpse carried on the tide. nonetheless, i have decided to try this thing, so... i am committed to aspiring to something greater than 'whale corpse'.

now, in this interest there is one very important thing that i must do, and that is SWIM. in a pool, because lakes in this part of colorado aren't swimmable for much of the year, and the last time there was an ocean in these parts, my closest DNA similar was likely a trilobyte. the local YMCA is fit to accommodate. the trouble is, it HASN'T accommodated.

on two separate occasions this week, i have made an effort to go swimming at the tri-lakes YMCA pool, and both times, my plans have been thwarted by some child who, in a most timely manner, decided to... well... defecate in the pool. responsible pool operators that they are, the Y closes the pool for some extended period of time to zap in a heavy dose of chlorine. well, and then i'm faced with a) not swimming or b) waiting until the pool opens again, if possible (not possible last night, when the kid crapped at about 8pm, and the pool was scheduled to close at 9.15 anyway), and thinking the whole time about the extra chlorine/kid poo spa treatment i'm getting. so i haven't been swimming all week.

now, come on, mothers of the tri-lakes region (and now i'm starting to sound like Professor Harold Hill in the Music Man)! if your child is still in the range of "questionably potty trained", there should be a swim diaper on that tailpipe! some other paying YMCA members have ambitions to climb up from 'whale corpse'! i consider hours i spend in the lap lane to be golden. helps me cultivate fish sense, and a cool head, and a keen eye. these pool closures are causing quite the set back. now i know all you folks are the right kind of parents. i'm gonna be perfectly frank. when you don't take enough precaution to swim diaper wrap that free-willed rear, there's more suffering than your sweet embarrassment!

i have no choice but to hope i'll find a solution that will allow me to get into a pool, but there's no doubt... we got Trouble, my friend.

1 comment:

  1. If this weren't so funny, I might be disgusted. Nope. Wait. I'm disgusted anyway. All I can picture is that scene from "Caddyshack" minus Billy Murray munching on the Baby Ruth.

    Good luck with the swimming. I've never been much of a swimmer myself.